Peter Greene is a problem for me. He can easily toss off two or three hilarious, original posts every day, and I can’t keep up with him. I keep trying. So ignore the original publication date.

In this post, he live blogs the experience of taking a sample PARCC test. What strikes him and the reader is that the questions are often confusing and usually very boring.

This is how he begins:

“Today, I’m trying something new. I’ve gotten myself onto the PARCC sample item site and am going to look at the ELA sample items for high school. This set was updated in March of 2014, so, you know, it’s entirely possible they are not fully representative, given that the folks at Pearson are reportedly working tirelessly to improve testing so that new generations of Even Very Betterer Tests can be released into the wild, like so many majestic lion-maned dolphins.

“So I’m just going to live blog this in real-ish time, because we know that one important part of measuring reading skill is that it should not involve any time for reflection and thoughtful revisiting of the work being read. No, the Real Readers of this world are all Wham Bam Thank You Madam Librarian, so that’s how we’ll do this. There appear to be twenty-three sample items, and I have two hours to do this, so this could take a while. You’ve been warned.”

The first six questions are about DNA. Greene screams with frustration as he imagines his students tuning out.

If you want to know what our government spent $180 million to develop, read this. It may be coming to your children or students.